You be the Judge

Richards and Ogden find that "we are generally better judges of what other people are doing than of what we are doing ourselves" (1279).  This is an amazing revelation that seems to be reflected in such shows as American Idol where the judges have to tell people how awful they sound despite their confidence.  They really couldn't hear themselves?

So how does this really fit into meaning and communication and interpretation...

We always know what we're talking about.  Our meaning is clear to ourselves.  However the complications start to arise from relaying your meaning to someone else's ears and minds.  For instance, we don't need words to define the meaning behind our ideas.  The ideas are in our head and don't need to be grouped or classified in a relatable way.  Then, when I need to say something to my husband and I misspeak and use one word accidently instead of another.  I meant to say the one word, but I said the other and didn't even realize it.  My husband catches it and asks for clarification.  I reespond by denying I misspoke.  My meaning was so clear in my head, so I'm sure it was conveying through my words.  I'm the woman, I'm always right, blah blah blah.  Then comes the dreaded time when I'm talking to my husband and his friend and the same situation occurs where I misspeak and use the wrong word even though I think I said the right word.  Now there are two people asking for clarification and saying that I said a different word than I thought I said.  They are judging my words, and they are able to see and evaluate my communication better than I am.

I'm so used to thinking that nobody knows me as well as I know myself, so how can they judge me?  Perhaps I should open my eyes a little to see that there is a time and a place for making judgements.  Everytime you open your mouth around anyone else, you are opening yourself up to judgement.  I don't always realize the way I come across.  I know the way I want to come across and the way I'm trying to come across but I might not achieve that, so I need the judgement of others.  And in turn, I must judge others.